With No Quarrels
by EstellaB
Summary: Kind of pointless CarlosDA oneshot. Carlos and DA argue, oblivious, and everyone else watches because it's easier than admitting to their own dramas. Except for Ralphie, who just wants to finish his hotdog.


"Arrogant-"

"Obsessive-"

"Immature-"

"Boring-"

"_Imbecile!_" she finished, and glared at him, hands on hips, eyebrows drawn together and looking very much like her mother.

"_Geek_!" was his response, perhaps not quite as eloquent but certainly as heartfelt. He instantly wished that he'd come up with something more intelligent. She rolled her eyes at the age-old insult.

Of course, they were totally oblivious to the rest of their friends, who were watching with amusement (Ralphie was even commentating, hot dog in hand as a microphone). They always were. And, as long as they kept up the Carlos-and-DA jokes, it meant that they didn't have to deal with their own teenage issues-Phoebe blushed reflexively whenever Arnold spoke to her, meaning that Wanda wouldn't talk to her; Tim was depressed, because Wanda was going all psycho and stalkerish over Arnold; Keesha kept hoping that Tim wouldn't notice her own low spirits. Only Ralphie appeared unaffected. Ralphie always was.

And what were they arguing about?

"You only want to see it so that you can tear it apart! Honestly, DA, who cares if it's different from the book?"

Yes. It really was that trivial. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King had prompted their own full-scale war. Phoebe, who was easily the most romantic of the gang, had wondered-out loud-whether this one would end with a ring as well.

"I care!" DA stamped her foot, and stepped an inch closer to Carlos, prodding him in the chest.

"Score one to Blondie!" Ralphie intoned, taking a bite of his microphone. The girl in question ignored him. She probably didn't even hear him.

"Only because you're... a geek!"

DA snorted. "You already said that."

"And two strikes for the Hispanic guy!" Completely contented with the situation, Ralphie leaned back against his chair and took a long mouthful of his soda. "One more and he's out, although not like that..."

"Just because you're not bright enough to manage more than a hundred pages of novel!" DA huffed.

"I READ NINETEEN EIGHTY-FOUR!" Carlos' eyes suddenly went wide, and he stepped back several pages, having unintentionally let that slip. It had been top on a list of books she thought he should read to reduce his idiocy slightly. He crossed his arms across his chest, and stormed out of Arnold's living room. After a few seconds, they heard him apologising to an angry Mrs Perlstein for crashing into her. DA raised a dismissive eyebrow, but anybody could see it was one of those Carlos-and-DA awkward moments, which almost always followed their fights.

Well, anybody except Ralphie. "Game, set and match to our future President!" he announced, happily oblivious. Wanda hit him in the arm and told him not to mix his metaphors. The room fell silent in shock.

Eventually, the afflicted found his voice. "I don't believe it, the midget said something smart!" Wanda slugged him again. "Hey! Why don't you hit like a girl, small person?"

"This could carry on some time," Tim observed to Arnold, as Wanda punched Ralphie's arm a third time. "We should go make Carlos come back." The guys, dragging Ralphie away from Wanda, left the room. DA was still standing in the middle of the carpet, hands on hips, irritated that her argument had been cut short. Phoebe and Keesha walked up to her.

"DA, why don't you just-" Keesha began, and looked at Phoebe for support.

"DA," Phoebe said gently, putting one hand on her friend's arm. "Isn't your favorite novel Pride and Prejudice?"

DA was apparently thrown by this change of direction. "So?"

Phoebe smiled, looking as close as Phoebe ever could to evil. "I really think you should reread it..."

**Same old, same old. I don't own it. I've done my best to make American spellings (though it felt totally unnatural, lol), but please point out any mistakes.**

**P.S., I know this isn't great. Sorry about that; I'm still finding my feet with these characters. Constructive criticism more than welcome... And the "small person" comment is from High School Musical, which I hate, but I thought that line was funny.**

**The title is from "A Fine Romance" by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong which I was listening to whilst I wrote it...**


End file.
